Mall Cop Diary
In(s)ane Ramblings Of A Mall Cop

Escape From The Mall

We had an ‘escape’ at the mall tonight.

It happened when I was performing sentry duty at the main entrance for mall closing. Several teenage employees slipped past me (from inside the mall) while my attention was focused on repelling the besieging horde of shopaholics outside.

It is not widely known among civilians, but mall employees are supposed to use the staff entrance/exit after they clock out. So acting according to mall traditions, I yelled at the three teenage miscreants to stop running. They stopped.

And turned around to tell me (rather cheekily) to mind my own business. I recognized them to be sales staff from the fashion boutique on the first floor. I couldn’t just leave my post to chase after the 3 remorseless miscreants, but their behavior puzzled me, so I had to ask.

You see, the time card machines are located right by the staff entrance, so wouldn’t it save both time and energy if they left by that way? When I asked them that, one clueless teenage employee made the Statement of the Year.

“Oh we got our mates to punch out for us!”

There you go. A confession straight from the horse’s mouth. They were working at the fashion boutique on the first floor which was a mere stone throw away from the main entrance, so that would explain why they would prefer the shortcut to the option of traveling all the way to the staff entrance at the other side of the mall.

As I watched them run away to freedom, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the prominent sign hanging over the time card machines which reads: “Employees who are caught punching time cards for their co-workers will be terminated IMMEDIATELY!”

So the question now is, should I turn them in or not? Due to the nature of our job, we mall cops do not always get along with other mall employees, and 2 major Mall Wars (I and II)* have already been fought between the various factions. This would be a good opportunity to score one for the team (so to speak).

By: A Mall Cop

* The stories of Mall War I and II will be told in my upcoming book.


One Response to “Escape From The Mall”

  1. I never knew relationships between mall employees were so complex! LOL Maybe you should warn them that if they do it again, you’re going to turn them in.

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