Mall Cop Diary
In(s)ane Ramblings Of A Mall Cop

Olivia Twist and Fagin

Mall Cop Failed In His Duty!

This one-liner blazed across the front page of my soul, after I failed miserably to stop a pair of cunning shoplifters.

It was midday at the mall, and as I was dutifully scanning the horde of shoppers for signs of criminal activities, a little girl (estimated to be about 6 year old) hopped cutely up to an older woman (probably her mother) who was standing idly by the exit. The girl brandished a pretty pink thermometer with cat motifs, and chattered excitedly to the matronly woman. She wanted to know what the ‘cute kitty thing’ does, and the lady was patiently explaining that it was a thermometer, same as ‘the one you saw at the doctor’s, darling’.

So basically, I saw a heartwarming scene of a daughter bonding with her mummy, and I let my guard down. And the thieving pair sprung into action. Half-way through her rendition of the functions of a thermometer, the matron, with a casual flick of her wrist, flung the thermometer into the large shopping bag by her feet. And without pausing, as if they weren’t just having a conversation a second ago, both matron and girl strode swiftly but nonchalantly toward the main exit.

And they were out of sight before I could even say ‘Hey did you pay for that?’.

In my defence, I beg the jury to consider that nobody would expect a 6-year-old and her mother to steal a thermometer (a very unlikely item to be selected by shoplifters). The time it took me to grasp the concept probably gave them the opening they needed to pull off the theft.

The team dynamics between them somehow reminded me of a Charles Dickens novel. Henceforth, the girl and her mother will be remembered as ‘Olivia Twist and Fagin’. What kind of monster would teach a 6-year-old to steal anyway? The kind that exists in a Dickens novel, of course.

This incident has prompted me to include a whole chapter on juvenile shoplifters in my upcoming book. Olivia Twist and Fagin shall get an honorable mention.

By: A Mall Cop

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One Response to “Olivia Twist and Fagin”

  1. A whole chapter? I bet that could be a book on its own.


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