Mall Cop Diary
In(s)ane Ramblings Of A Mall Cop


A mother and her pre-schooler daughter approached me for directions today.

Mommy wanted to know where she might find a ‘pretty dollhouse’ for her daughter. So I directed her to the toy section in our department store where I last saw a dazzling display of Sylvanian Families toy houses. House-trained critters who can flush toilets and run baths are just too awesome to keep to myself. I had to share!

Eager to uphold my image as a font of knowledge, I remarked that dollhouses were once used as educational aids to teach young ladies how to manage households. Mommy smiled knowingly at her young lady and voiced her fears that they will have another trashed doll house on their hands.

A cue like that warranted a brilliant response, I thought. So I bent down, look the young lady in the face, and lightly remarked that she’s a ‘little homewrecker’. She laughed. But her mommy didn’t. All humor left the mommy’s face. Seething with quiet anger, she picked up her still laughing daughter and flounced away into the store.

Some mothers have no sense of humor. If she didn’t want me to call her daughter a ‘homewrecker’, she shouldn’t have fed me a line about trashed doll houses.

By: An Unfunny Mall Cop


One Response to “Homewrecker”

  1. This entry (and several others) just made me laugh out loud. I’m not even going to use “lol” here because it’s used so lightly nowadays. I enjoy the fact that the little girl had a sense of humor, even if her mother didn’t. More proof that kids are people too!

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