Mall Cop Diary
In(s)ane Ramblings Of A Mall Cop

Archive for February 2010

3-Strikes Gavin

February 28, 2010

Gavin was the most talkative and annoying mall cop on the team, and this is the story of how he earned the nickname ‘3-Strikes’ Gavin and got himself the sack. He was more talkative than usual and annoyed an attractive sales assistant. She filed a complaint. That was first strike. He broke mall protocol by […]

I have a pimple

February 27, 2010

I have a pimple. It has severely affected my mall experience. Pimple leads to self-consciousness, self-consciousness leads to doubt, doubt leads to fear, and fear leads to overtime for everyone. That in turn leads to everyone hating me. You see, having a pimple on my face caused me to be extra sensitive to looks from […]

Chocaholics hate me

February 20, 2010

So I got picked to be the gatekeeper for mall closing again. The winner for Worst-Shopper-Of-The-Day goes to this obese gentleman who got past me after lying about this ‘important item’ he’s supposed to collect from the store. Since he (and his wife) assured me repeatedly that they had already paid for it in advance […]

If you move with authority…

February 13, 2010

You can get away with flouting mall regulations. Based on the result of the latest field test, that ‘authority’ plus an official looking card will give you about 5 seconds before an alert mall cop in his prime (yours truly) can react. Today, 10 minutes before opening time, an officious gentleman in a 2-piece suit […]

A Bad Day

February 7, 2010

It was just a bad day. Sure interesting things happened at the mall today. A girl even waved at me and called me ‘handsome’. But all that was overshadowed by my incredibly bad day. First I nearly busted my lungs when I dashed all that way to the bus-stop, only to find out I had […]

I made another kid cry

February 6, 2010

The exhibition hall is still having their food fair. That means the floor is slathered with food grease and sprinkled over generously with cookie crumbs. Please also consider that the hall was packed with hordes of marauding customers, who helped to spread chaos in the hall and grime over the floor. The floor was in […]